Laura Childs

Well. It is done.

Late last night, just hours from my deadline I sent off 53,576 words and 60 some photos, charts, forms and drawings to my publishers at Skyhorse.

I feel as though I’ve been in some trance for the last month. The world has kept spinning without me but I’ve been incapable of even noticing.

For over 40 years I’ve been an avid reader – from novels to self help, business manuals to software applications – so much so that I am certain my eyes should have worn out by now. And, practically everything I read is critiqued.

“Lacking.” “Poor ending.” “Disjointed.” “Too abstract to be of any use.” “Fluff written to make a book sale…”

And on it goes.

Not once have I thought of the author and the hours behind every paragraph, every page, all with their reader in mind. “Will they understand?” “Are connections to the whole obvious on this topic?” “Should this go here, there, or be edited out entirely?”

Now I know.

In the writing of “The Joy of Keeping Farm Animals” I crafted pages and pages last month, that never even made it to the publisher’s desk. Cut and snipped as irrelevant, too advanced, far too verbose – whatever the reason. Hours of work writing, editing and then just cutting away without mercy.

After years of thinking – in response of other authors claims of “I just wrote a book…” – “So what?” — it is time to rethink my brain’s quippy response.

Even fluff books take effort. (One comes to mind but I won’t name it.) I was sadly disappointed when I paid full price for it, waited for Amazon to deliver it, blocked off time to absorb the content, and considered adding it to the campfire half way through…)

So now I understand authors a little more. Have a little more compassion for them.

If they care about the content they’ve been commissioned to write, they’ll spend hours in research, days in mentally mapping out the flow, outline, theories presented. And even longer writing, editing and rewriting.

If they value their name as an author, they’ll work right up to the deadline, at all costs – even losing friends, family, weight, sleep, in the process.

And when they send off their work to the publisher, they will celebrate in some odd way perhaps that only makes sense to them. Celebrate because they have just given birth to something – perhaps beautiful, but maybe ugly and of little value.

As for me – I wrote the book I wish I’d found years ago.

I celebrated by eating my favorite foods – Cowboy steaks, caesar salad and a snack of fresh fish from Fraser Lake (thanks to Bradley Foster).

This morning I awoke to self-doubt. “What if my publisher hates it?” “What if she says I missed the mark and have to rewrite 20,000 words of it?” “What if I suck?” “What if they publish tens of thousands of copies and people buy it but it contains a mistake that needlessly costs people time or money?”

Argh. Oof.

I remember seeing movies where an author finally finishes his manuscript and engages someone to sit and read it, in their presence, before sending it off to the publisher. Authors do this so they don’t have to experience this feeling of waiting with baited breath for the publisher’s comments.

I didn’t do that. No one saw a word of what I wrote. Veronica and Eric heard my “Dedication and Thanks” but that was all.

So now I wait with my good friend named “Doubt” while I tip my hat to all the authors who have written before me. May I recognize your hard work a little gentler next time – even if it was “Lacking.” or “Disjointed.”

I’m now convinced that no one can understand an author unless they have written a book themselves.

I’m a little confused by Leon’s in Bird’s Creek Ontario. It seems they are serving a community of 2,500 locals (of Bancroft) but you wouldn’t think that would be a problem for a franchise. Or would you?

Is it not the beauty and a large part of the cost, of owning a franchise that the name and the suppliers come with all types of success systems in place? Are there not manuals and guidelines on how to manage a store efficiently and how to train your staff?

Here is what happened to us, after shopping repeatedly in the store:

Shortly after the fire and when our content replacement money from the insurance company came through we started shopping around for furniture and appliances. Wanting to keep our business local, Leon’s was the furniture and appliance store of choice.

In the meantime I had countless people telling me that they’d never shop at Leon’s in town again as they’d had such a bad experience the last time they shopped and even browsed in the store.

My answer always was: “Yeah, but Stuart’s there now!”

In fact the store is lovely. Lots to choose from, never feels over-crowded with people or product. Always spic and span clean. And, well, gosh, Stuart is there!

Stuart Brown – an excellent tech, knowledgeable in home entertainment systems and satellite internet, left McCaskie’s of Bancroft a few years back and somehow hooked up with Leon’s in Bird’s Creek. I figured if Stuart could be found there some efficiency and friendliness must exist within the building.

Turns out that’s only true for home entertainment and sometimes, in home appliances, when his son Marcus is working…

Marcus, for the record, will always find you an answer fast, never makes you feel as though you’re imposing on him when you stop in with questions or requiring advice. He always, always, makes you feel like you’re his best customer.

Anyway, Stuart helped us find the best television in our price range and a year later we still feel like we got the best TV at the best price. We all thought that Leon’s was the answer to everything home related…

So we started asking about stoves and fridges. This was pre-Marcus. Brad consulted with us on a nice gas range, a GE profile, but cautioned that he only had one in stock and he wouldn’t be able to order any more at that price. He wrote out a sales order, assured me that he’d hold the stove for me as long as I needed him to, and we all went our merry way.

Building the house took months longer than expected but during that time we continued browsing at Leon’s. By then Marcus Brown was working at the store. We talked about the house style and when I found a sofa set that I thought would work in our log cabin home, I bought it.

Soon Leon’s called to ask us to accept delivery so they could make room on the showroom floor. We said, “Sure, you might as well bring the stove as well since you’re coming out this way…”

Turns out, they couldn’t find the stove. The one they were holding for me. The one they couldn’t get more of.

So they just delivered the sofa set. Dropped it off in the unlocked breezeway of our lake house, just as I’d informed them to do if we weren’t home when they came by.

As for the lost stove, I fully realize that some things were just meant to be. I didn’t get upset about the stove, even knowing that a comparable model was going cost me a few hundred dollars more.

But I am starting to understand at this point why so many people in Bancroft can’t stomach shopping at our local Leon’s!

In the meantime I had been back in – now “cuz Marcus is there!” and ordered and paid for a new stainless fridge – which they also said they would hold for me. (God I hope it is still there!)

I waited until our move in date drew closer.

Eventually we set a move in date and I went in to ask Marcus what was available that would suit our family’s needs while staying within our price range. He found me a gorgeous gas range, in stainless, and yes it was over $200 more than the original stove I’d put on hold, but I liked it better and it came with a bonus matching overhead microwave.

Here’s the fabulous part about Marcus…

Marcus knew that his Leon’s wasn’t going to be promoting the flyer that contained the stove he’d found for me, but he took the time and found it, got the specs online and then went ahead and ordered it anyway. Now THAT folks is customer service! He never once made me feel like he was going out of his way or that it was a bother. He absolutely made me feel like it was his pleasure to help us this way.

I’m starting to like Leon’s again…

Until last week.

But first…By now, wouldn’t you think that the people in the store would know me? I purchased a $2200 television, an $1000 gas range (that they lost), a $1400 fridge, a $1300 sofa set, and now a $1200 stainless range – with, a bonus microwave.

If I dropped that much money in your store wouldn’t you know who I was everytime I walked in? Especially in a town of only 2,500 people?

The sad part is that I know their names, but they don’t have a clue who I am…

Okay, last week I go in to arrange for delivery of the remainder of my items. This takes over 30 minutes at the front desk. Keep in mind that there are about 6 people working in the store while I’m there and no other customers – just me and my daughter…

I have to pause here and give the people working behind the counter a little credit – I did need to change an item on my invoice as I decided by this time that I didn’t want their warranty on my appliances.

I hand over the sales orders (my copies) for the fridge and the stove and the lovely bonus microwave. “I’d like to arrange delivery…”

First they have to find their copies. (Not sure why my copies weren’t good enough, but, whatever.)

Then they have to fuss and flounder over the fact that one sales order has my husband’s last name “Oh that’s why we couldn’t find our copy!” and the other has my last name. Even though the freakin’ things were right there on the counter with order numbers and dates and whatever else is required – same thing that they’ve got behind the counter in the piles of filing cabinets…

We make the changes to the warranty and we begin the lovely discussion over delivery dates. Personally I don’t care when they come, anytime over the next three weeks is fine. Our house is still incomplete so we’re not actually in a rush and since we live so far out of town I know I can wait until they’re heading in my direction to deliver my items. Save the gas, people’s time, save the environment – whenever it works out.

“The house isn’t done. I won’t be there when the guys come by. They can just leave the items in the basement. The dog is friendly and outside. The basement door is unlocked.”

Then, I stand still and quiet for 5 minutes while the upcoming schedule for deliveries is checked – two staff do this and debate over best dates.

“I don’t have a preference. I won’t be there when they come. The basement door will be unlocked.”

Eventually we all decide on Saturday, May 23. Fine. “The basement door will be unlocked.”

Four or five days before, someone calls me from Leon’s. He’s calling to confirm that he is delivering two stoves, a bonus microwave and one fridge. Apparently they’ve either found my first stove (of which the sales order had mysteriously gone missing as well as the stove) or they’re calling to confirm first because they’ve finally found last years sales order, but can’t find the freakin’ stove and are worried they’ve lost it. Which of course, they have as it was last month’s run around…which was fixed by Marcus Brown, who I tell you has managed to surpass his father when it comes to customer service – and his dad is damn good to begin with.

Back to the phone call…

I’m rushing out the door so I only have time to confirm with him that one stove with a bonus microwave and one fridge is what I’m expecting on Saturday’s delivery date, thinking “Didn’t I just settle that at the store last week and spend 1/2 hour of my personal time just to set that damn appointment up? Do these people have nothing better to do?” Apparently he needed me to say, for the fourth time “the basement door will be unlocked” because….I didn’t…and here’s what happened next…

Saturday, May 23 rolls by. My cell phone rings at 11 am but I am out of range so I miss the call.

Eric arrives at the building site at noon. Guess what? A note from Leon’s of Bancroft saying that they’d been by and would have to arrange a different time for delivery.

On Sunday I call into Leon’s. “Wanda? Can I arrange a different time?” Wanda, who has no idea who I am, even though I know her and have now spent thousands of dollars in the store she works at, and have been in and out of that store almost as many times as I’ve been to the chip truck (which I love to do by the way, if you’re ever in Bird’s Creek and see the chip truck Leo’s, yes, Leo’s, you must go and get poutine). But back to Wanda…Wanda, who was one of the two people just a few weeks ago arranging delivery dates that took 1/2 an hour to set up…

“Who is this?”
“What were you having delivered?”
“Can you hang on while I check the Sales Order?”
“Oh there’s a second item?”
“Can you hang on while I check that Sales Order?”
“Did you know your Sales Orders have two different last names?”
“You and your husband should really combine them.”

and eventually…after all that….

“There is no note on the sales orders that say the delivery guys should just put the items in the basement.”

“Really Wanda? Because I’m pretty sure I said it three times the day I was arranging for delivery.”

“Well, you’ll have to call back tomorrow and talk to Craig.”

“Actually Wanda, I’m a little busy. I’m at the final stage of writing my book and I have a short deadline. I’m in the middle of building a house that I have to move into next week, unfinished, and nothing is packed yet. I’m home schooling my daughter and running my own business. Since I have spent the last 10 minutes going over sales order stuff with you, for no apparent reason other than for you to tell me that nothing was written down about just putting the items in the basement, don’t you think you could talk to Craig for me?”

“Really? You’re writing a book? Or that’s nice!”

Grunt. “Thank you. My point is that I’m very very busy and do not want to call tomorrow. Can you manage this for me?”

“Well he would have to arrange for another trip out to your house. He would have to approve it and set it up.”

“Okay. You know what Wanda? I actually don’t care when they bring it out. The house is not finished. I have no problem with picking up my own items and moving them myself in the back of my truck. But since I have spent thousands of dollars in your store and since you offer free delivery and since I said three times – the basement door will be open – I’m thinking we could just stop wasting so much time, of which I have very little right now – and the guys could either just bring the items out sometime in the next week – I do not need to schedule a best time, I will always leave the basement door unlocked – or someone could call me and tell me to pick my own items up, without all the phone backs and shuffling around the damn sales orders every time….Do you think you could just talk to Craig for me, since you will be right there, working by his side and in the store with him? Do you think you could get them to deliver the items or just call me and say if you can’t?”

And in the back of my head I’m screaming “because damn it, the customer is always right and the customer is always busy and making life easy for the customer is always, always, THE way to run a freakin’ business!”

Damn! Stuart knows that. Marcus knows that. And I’m pretty sure Marcus’ mom knows that too (I think she works behind the scenes somewhere, in a back office away from livid customers like myself).

So why don’t the women at the front know that? The store is seldom busy, they’ve got all day to learn a little social skills about dealing with the customer, after all…

And why don’t the women at the front know enough to listen when a customer repeatedly says “the basement door is open” and write it down? Was it my job to write it down? Do I need this grief and be putting all my time and energy into getting a product delivered just because you’re incompetant? Was I supposed to be baby sitting you when I paid for my items to be sure you wrote down “the basement door is open”?

Or at least, at the very least, deal with store management for the customer, without having the customer need to ask, because that is the way retail works – one less point of contact to frustrate a customer “I will handle this for you…” – making spending money and repeat business easy and a no-brainer for every damn customer or repeat customer that walks through your doors.

Just makes me wonder why I didn’t listen to my friends in the first place and go shopping at the Brick in Peterborough…sigh.

One of my favorite shows (and I don’t have very many) is America’s Funniest Videos.

Truly my favorite video of all time was Lola doing the Smarty Pants Dance – around the living room every time she picked out a state on her US map, called for by her dad. The special part? She’s only 20 months old in this video and the way she dances around the room reminds me so much of Veronica when she was this young.

Watch it and see for yourself. Honestly, I think this video was worthy of more than a $10,000 prize…

Smarty Pants Dance